Only the names have been changed to protect the idiots

The year has barely begun and already we have the contenders lined up at the starting gates of Bedlam all vying for the coveted title of stupidest New Zealander in 2012.

Somebody at CYFS who shall remain nameless; (but only because the agency has circled its wagons) is off to a flying start. He or she is the dufus that let someone else I can’t name escape from the agency’s custody. The reason I can’t name the escapee is another ridiculous situation. You see this little scumbag escapee is the 15-year-old boy-racer charged with the manslaughter of another young man who by coincidence also liked car racing, albeit properly organised racing.

To make matters worse, (if you can here) this little scrote had stolen the car he was driving when he crashed into 22-year-old Shaun Fitzpatrick and killed him. He then absconded from the scene. He has now absconded again, but the chances of getting him back quickly must be slim as we can’t know who he is because ‘he’s just a little boy’. Clearly this crucial lack of identification is going to be a major obstacle to locating the little shit. What I can’t get my head around is why the suppression should continue. The court has already indulged him in the first instance by suppressing his name, but the only thanks they got was him doing ANOTHER runner. In such cases the suppression should end immediately.

And while we are on the subject of his latest escape; CYF operations general manager Grant Bennett (surely a misprint – it must be Gordon) says “Child, Youth and Family had appropriate steps in place to monitor him, including round the clock supervision until his next court appearance. Unfortunately, there was a brief opportunity for him to abscond and he took it."

So who gave him this ‘brief opportunity’ and under what sort of circumstances did it arise?

Unfortunately this Bennett pillock refuses to say how a bunch of grown-ups could be so stupid and incompetent as to lose a 15-year-old who has already been remanded into their custody.

Clearly Bennett, G has about as much affinity with the truth as Bennett, P. CYF cannot have had ‘steps in place’ to monitor this kid around the clock like he says otherwise he would not be on the lam now. I shouldn’t really be surprised though because I reckon Baldrick could have come up with a much more workable plan than  anything devised by one of CYF’s ‘crack strategists’.

So congrats to the un-named nong, who I suspect we will never find the identity of as the Bennett’s will be too busy trying to cover the entire lazy corporate arse of CYF (and themselves). He or she is off to a flying start for the coveted title of NZ’s stupidest person for 2012.

However the CYF twit has some early competition from the slow-witted staff at Middlemore Hospital who let a woman walk into the hospital and then walk out again carrying somebody else’s baby.

I suspect this will be another incident where we will never learn the full details of how it happened in order to protect the terminally stupid – and of course Toenail Vyle the Minister irresponsible.

It is a lucky thing the parents of the baby spotted the woman otherwise who knows what might have happened. The offender was clearly mentally ill as she had already been faking a pregnancy for the previous nine months and had managed to fool her partner, (who also must be in with a chance for the title).

I am flabbergasted that someone is just able to walk into a neo-natal unit completely unchallenged. Furthermore in this particular instance the woman had earlier in the day been spotted holding another baby in the unit. When the baby’s mother challenged her she said she was just comforting the baby.

Middlemore’s idiot spokesperson, Lauren Young offers up the gem that Middlemore's birthing unit is a large ward with 45 beds which could be ''difficult to monitor all the time''

Difficult?  Er, perhaps, but hardly like trying to solve the world economic crisis or trying to get the truth out of a politician. This is easy shit. If they can’t manage that I would be extremely worried about allowing them to undertake medical procedures!

However it’s not PC to criticise these people who are ‘only doing their job’ (very badly). And since we don’t know who any of these anonymous clowns are; they will be spared the embarrassment of public ridicule.

But I can’t help feeling the public humiliation or the threat of same might be a useful weapon in getting public servants to serve the public properly. Nothing else seems to have worked so far.