What am I bid for this life? (Going once, going tw.....)

So how much is a human life worth in New Zealand? It might sound a silly. It all depends on the context as to the value placed on each life.

Some might wonder why I am even asking the question, but it is something we need to get our heads around because like it or not a human life is frequently assessed as having some kind of monetary value for a host of different reasons. I think we need to know the whys and wherefores of these processes because sometimes they defy any logical explanation.

For example when a life is lost through natural causes insurance companies make a payout (if you are lucky) and that amount could be considered as the value that has been placed upon that particular life. But here it is not so much the insurance company that is setting that ‘value’ rather it is the person taking out the insurance policy. However it is still a value and in most cases this will start at around $100,000 and go up from there according to the premium paid and the policy chosen.

ACC is also in the business of assessing the value of human life and their figures are a little less straightforward (as you might expect). Their calculation can involve a funeral grant of up to $4500.00 and a survivor’s grant of $4702.79, plus weekly compensation equivalent to 60% of the deceased’s earnings (roughly). There are some finer points to that, such as additional allowances for dependants other than the spouse, but the total possible amount payable is 80% of earnings. This can be paid as weekly compo or in a lump sum. Obviously the total amount depends on how much you were earning, so of course the very well paid families fare best in this situation as with life insurance. The weekly payments if you choose those, last for a maximum of five years and this is how the lump sum is also calculated. Thus if your nearest and dearest was on the minimum wage their life will be valued at about $93,000.

Accidents in the workplace are another of the areas where determinations as to the monetary worth of human life is regularly determined. In this respect the courts and the Department of Labour are involved. The courts have the power to fine an employer (although not if they are a Government Department apparently) and award compensation. Two recent cases that give an idea of how this works are the case of the worker at Safe Air Ltd (they should change the name) who was sucked into a jet engine he was doing a maintenance check on it. The company was fined $56,000 and ordered to pay his family $22,500 in compo. Thus his life was valued at less than $80K.  

DOC on the other hand couldn’t be fined when their volunteer worker was apparently swept out to sea at Raoul Island and thus they escaped at just $60K which was the payout they made voluntarily to the guy’s family.

Similarly the courts regularly assess the value of a human life when they direct careless drivers to make payments to the relatives of those they have killed through their careless or reckless driving. Currently the most you can be fined for this sort of thing is $20,000 and then only if you can be proven to have been drunk or stoned at the time. Payments for emotional harm can also be levied, but these seldom reach five figures, so the courts are less generous than the insurance companies with a human life worth basically less than $30,000 in total. It would appear they don’t believe the loss to the family is even equivalent to the minimum wage for one year (before tax).  

However it is now official that New Zealand’s lousiest bastards are the Royal New Zealand Air Force who apparently value human lives at a great deal less than any of the above examples.

You will all no doubt remember the tragic helicopter crash on Anzac Day 2010 that resulted in the deaths of three Air Force personnel and serious injuries to another. We now discover after months of red herrings about how the crash came about because of dangerous practices by a pilot who wasn’t properly trained to fly at dusk that he only did it because the Air Force top brass had been moaning about how much it would cost for the guys to stay overnight. It has taken until this week for that admission to be dragged out of the Defence Monster Jonathan Coleface. Then the prick had the audacity to try and blame the Labour Government which hasn’t been in power since 2008!

So how many much was it actually going to cost to put up four men at the Amora Hotel in Wellington which the Air Force were in the habit of using? How close were we to blowing the entire Defence budget had we accommodated these guys instead of making them fly out in dangerous circumstances they had not been trained for? Surely it can’t have been very much?

Well we now learn that the amount at stake was $149.00 per room. I have been unable to ascertain how many the rooms at that price can sleep, but it is probably two and even if it is only one, then we lost three lives and made a mess of another for the sake of less than $600.00.  I think that speaks volumes about how much the Air Force cares about the welfare of its personnel.

And by the way; if you are thinking of making a firm appointment with the reaper any time soon, for goodness sake take out a large insurance policy or find yourself a dodgy accountant to fudge your income figures – there are tons of them about at the moment – just pick a name from the court reports.

Incoming from the crazy zone

You will have noticed sites like Stuff and various print media often run a column called Crazy News or Oddstuff or something similar. In this column they show snippets about some of the more bizarre and ‘out there’ news items of the time.

However I have always believed there is nothing stranger than the truth; which for many people today – especially our politicians really is a stranger. Add to that the fact there is nothing odder than folks and we have a reality that is actually surpassed by its accompanying feel of unreality.

This week there have been several of these things, so I thought I might put together my own version of the Oddstuff type things and call it Weird Shit, which probably isn’t a name that would be all that marketable. However I think it leaves you in no doubt about what you are getting.

A very sick joke

Did you hear the joke about the paedophile comedian? Philippa Cunningham did and she’s having a huge laugh at our expense.

If somebody was to tell you that it was okay to go down on your four year-old daughter after a night on the turps if you can make people laugh; I am sure you would be quite rightly shocked and outraged. Yet this is what Auckland District Court Judge Philippa Cunningham apparently thinks. She is the stupid cow who let a ‘well-known comedian’ get away with no conviction for doing just that, despite him pleading guilty to the charge. Furthermore she has suppressed his name permanently on the pretext she was protecting his victim. The only thing sillier than Philippa in this case is the so-called comic’s claim that he mistook the four year-old’s parts for those of his wife! So not only has Philly allowed a child molester back onto the streets; but she has also allowed him to remain without a conviction and unidentified. He is perfectly able to apply for any sort of inappropriate type of employment and technically we couldn’t call this scumbag a kiddie fiddler even if we knew his name because he was never convicted.

I think this is a potentially very dangerous situation because while this lowlife might not try to become a teacher or an after school carer; there is every possibility he could end up as a kids’ entertainer. I’m guessing that most of his (probably former) colleagues will know who he is and as a result his normal work opportunities will dry up. This could ultimately see him donning a funny wig, a bulbous nose and gigantic shoes to make his living. There are enough kids scared of clowns as it is without people like him giving them a good reason.

Tales from the Brain Dead zone

Now from creepy comics we go to brain-dead government departments. Government departments are pretty comprehensively brain dead as far as most of us are concerned, but this week the prize for the most useless wastes of space must go to the Department of Labrats

Charged with monitoring our health and safety legislation they have shown themselves to be as useless as tits on a GE Bull with no calves. (That is one that just goes straight from knee to hoof)

As a direct result of their incompetence and that of the useless articles who drafted the regulations, one fireman lost his life and seven other fire-fighters suffered varying degrees of injury. This all happened in the fire at the Tamahere coolstore in 2008.

The first failure in this shambles seems to have been Mobile Refrigeration Services, the useless company that installed the equipment that had failed so many times before that fatal day. But even their shortcomings could have been overcome if the Department of Labrats had followed up after an earlier incident. It would seem that following an earlier leak of hydrocarbons at the site the company had been told to fix the problem and was issued with a temporary three month operating certificate in the meantime. That was in 2005 and NOBODY from the Department of Labrats had bothered to follow up because they don’t have a follow up procedure in place. Or a brain between them, it would seem. Of course if anybody in Government ever gave a shit about any of these things they would see to it that legislation and regulations are CAREFULLY drafted so even half-wits like those at the Dept of Labrats would know to CHECK that people have done what you have ordered them to do.

Dodgy territory

 My last item for this week is a more controversial issue. I was somewhat conflicted about it myself until I reduced it to its most basic parts. I am talking about the decision of the Serious Fraud Office to drop all charges against Allan Hubbard following his death.

On the surface it seems a reasonable enough move because: (a) the man is dead, and (b) it sounds cruel to continue given his wife’s age, injuries and obviously her grief.

However I can’t help but feel this is somehow inherently wrong. Many millions of dollars were lost in circumstances which have never been fully investigated. Whether Allan Hubbard was a fraudster or not, we will now never know. His supporters are adamant he isn’t and paint him either as some kind of affable old duffer or the messiah himself come to earth.  

Now I don’t know this man at all. But I do know a few things that are relevant here. First of all; show me a conman who is a complete arsehole that everybody hates. There is no such thing. The very nature of the beast is that they present as trustworthy and charming. So let’s forget all about appearances. But even if Hubbard wasn’t a fraudster that still doesn’t rule out the possibility he was negligent to an unacceptable degree with other people’s money and did not follow the regulations under which companies such as his are obliged to operate.

It will be very interesting to see what unfolds over the next couple of weeks on this because should any of these possibilities have been the case, then some kind of reparations would normally be due to those whose money was lost. However if we are not going to take these matters any further then the potential is for money owed to those people to pass into the Hubbard estate instead. It might sound petty, when put that starkly but I shouldn’t think it would sound so petty to anyone who has lost tens of thousands of dollars or more and has to stand by watching what money is left slipping away from them like water down the drain.