In the last
couple of weeks we have gained a new catchphrase into our lingo and we have
been ‘privileged’ (?) to become familiar with somebody few of us had ever heard
of before. Having said that, most of us would have been no poorer for never
ever hearing of this prick, but life is like that sometimes. We can’t go back.
The prat is now well and truly out of the bag.
I am referring
of course to the one and only (thank God) Arrant Grabmore, that lowly National
list pillock with delusions of adequacy.
Grabmore is
likely to have one of the briefest careers of any of the overfed, over
privileged tossers with whom he soils the benches of this Parliament. He has in
the course of a couple of weeks gone from zero to zero and back again, managing
to completely miss out the hero part of that particular cycle. He has offended
a waiter, some diners, some tenants, possibly also his partner and his
idol/idle/leader along with every right thinking person in New Zealand.
Boorish little
twats like this should have been given a good kicking in the schoolyard and had
this sort of arrogance knocked out of them before they got out of short pants.
For the benefit
of anyone who has been in intensive care for the last week or a medically (or
otherwise) induced coma, I will give you a little history of this twerp.
He was born in
Christchurch in 1973 and spent most of his working life either working for
Government Departments or sucking up to National Party shakers and movers like
the reptilian Ill Health Minister and State Sold Enterprises Minister Tony
Vile. He spent some time working with a couple of accountancy firms as well
where he apparently advised utility companies. That probably explains why so
many of them are so arrogant, although I shouldn’t give too much credit to whippersnapper
Grabmore as he is still pretty wet behind the ears in this regard. A really
smart arsehole, unlike Grabmore, knows how to insult and throw his weight
around without bringing the roof down on his own pointed little head.
Grabmore suffers
from an over-inflated sense of self importance derived from his overwhelming
inferiority complex. And who can blame him? He is after all clearly a twit and
he looks like a Jianqi clone, which is enough of itself to make anyone feel
inadequate.
His political
career if you can call it that has been pretty much a disaster from day one. He
began by putting out his own PR in which he managed to boast about so much he has
been referred to satirically as the go-to man for everything. He claimed a
qualification for himself that he did not actually hold and seems to have sung
his own praises pretty comprehensively – but it must be remembered this has
been a totally solo performance for young Grabmore, much as I suspect, like his
sex life.
He stood for the
Christchurch East electorate in the 2011 election and lost, but almost got in
on the Natsis' list. However his election night celebrations were somewhat
premature (and I am tempted to make another reference to his sex life here, but
won’t) and following the final counts the Green’s became entitled to one more
seat at the expense of the Nats. As a result Grabmore as their lowliest lister
lost his spot to Mojo Mathers. I’ve no doubt that this loss must have rankled
with him particularly. First of all he lost to a party he probably perceives as
the anti-Christ; then he lost to a woman; and finally he lost to a woman with a
disability. To Mr Perfect In Every Way, this must have really impinged upon his
own mojo.
However the
universe often moves in mysterious ways and because young ‘Grabbers’ was such a
proficient arse licker he remained on the Natsi list and thus when Blockwood
Smith resigned from Parliament last year he was ushered in to the back benches.
This appears to
have inflated his already bursting sense of entitlement and so it was that he
got sloshed at a Natsi conference and behaved like a buffoon in a Christchurch
restaurant. Here he uttered that now famous line, “Do you know how I am?” when
refused more wine due to the fact he was pissed as a chook. He then got
stroppier and threatened to tell his ‘Dad’ (Jianqi) on the waiter and have him
bash him up (fire him).
His behaviour
was so bad that one of the people he was dining with was so embarrassed he
wrote a note to the waiter apologising for the little shit.
Then when the
faeces hit the fan, little Arrant wrote a note of his own (in crayon) in which
he apologised for the behaviour of his group. This of course pissed off his
fellow diners who had all been apparently behaving perfectly appropriately. His
esteemed leader was then contacted as they always are in these cases and as is
always the case with Jianqi’s particular style of ‘laissez-faire’ management
nothing has been done. Jianqi has made some grumbly noises and delivered his
usual po-faced response about the miscreant letting himself down and his
behaviour falling below the standard expected etc etc etc... yawn; but sod all
else.
In a
case like this there is always more and you can rely upon the media to start
finding it soon. They have already found another instance where Grabmore has
chucked some tenants out of their accommodation in circumstances that seem less
than fair and certainly less than polite. It looks as though he might have
upset his partner at the same time, so he looks destined to become an even
bigger little Johnny no mates than his steamed leader.
Of course more
will unravel from all of this and eventually Jianqi will have to drop this Wally
because he will become too much of a distraction. He certainly won’t be the
first MP Jianqi has supported to start with, held on grimly for several weeks
and then eventually had to chuck out. Pansy Wong-Number immediately springs to
mind and I know there have been one or two others as well, especially if one
includes coalition partners.
In any event
even if Grabmore manages to stifle any further revelations you can be sure his
list place at the next election will be expressed in three digits. Of course
none of us should be remotely surprised by all of this as it is exactly the
sort of arrogant attitude that most of this Government carries around with it
all the time. The only difference between young Arrant and his fellow party
members is that the others have learned how to tone theirs down when other
people are watching or listening.
But I feel sorry
for the waiter, who after all was only doing his job. It is illegal to sell
alcohol to pissed pricks, so he was merely doing what he oughta.
But most of all I
am sorry that he didn’t have the presence of mind to call for silence in the
restaurant and announce that the person next to him didn’t know who he was and
ask if anyone could come forward and help him in regaining his memory. It would
have been an absolute scream if nobody had come forward.
