Do as I say; not as I do

Ever noticed how often those with economic or political power wield it so gracelessly? Every little jumped up nasty piece of work and every scumbag company you can think of has a good sense of right and wrong when it comes to the behaviour of you and me, but the lines get a bit blurred where their own is concerned.

What makes it worse is when some of these low-lives support each other either inadvertently or even advertently (ever wonder why you never see that word?). Actually it used to exist, but has fallen out of favour, probably by accident or inadvertently.

A case in point is the furore that has arisen about the price of the new All Blacks supporters’ jersey. Fat cats addidas – and I put them into lower case deliberately, because they are the lowest of the low; want Kiwis to fork out $220 for one of these jerseys which were probably made by 10 year-olds in a sweat shop in Mumbai at a cost of about $0.22 each. Rebel Sport has momentarily found the rebel in them, and protested to addidas about their price, but the burghers at their Nuremburg headquarters are unmoved. They reckon Kiwis should stop whining and be happy to show their support for the All Blacks by forking out $220 for a jersey that will probably pull apart at the seams within twelve months. And not content with making the retail price in NZ outrageous, the swines have stopped Internet outlets overseas from selling the very same jerseys for less than half the NZ retail price to Kiwis. I think we should show the same level of support Adolf Dassler’s company has shown to us and stop buying ALL addidas goods until they get it.

Heartening though Rebel Sport’s stance seems, I fear it might just be a bit of cheap PR. They have already talked about dropping the retail price and taking a hit themselves to make the jerseys more affordable for Kiwis. However the cynic in me feels this could simply be a way of ensuring they are the only Kiwi retailer that will sell any. I hope I am wrong about this, and that they live up to their name and...Rebel.

What makes this whole RWC (yah -I said it) saga even more irritating is the message from authorities to NZ retailers that incidents of price gouging around the Rugby World Cup 2011 (and again) will be investigated and dealt with. How about this one, then?  Dassler was reportedly a member of the Nazi party and I’m sure his old namesake would have been proud of this move. On the other hand there is a suitable trial venue near to addidas’ headquarters so we should just assemble a tribunal and get on with it.

But the best example of a sauce that is okay for the goose not being okay for the gander is the American debt situation.

They racked up an international debt of a bit over $14 trillion US dollars and didn’t have any money left to run their country. So what did they do? Front up to their local trading bank and after duly completing an entire forest of paperwork and undergoing a dozen or so credit checks, walk away with a loan?

No. Don’t be silly. That’s what people like you and me have to do. These guys have got it worked out much better. Here’s how they do it.

Phase one: Raise the debt ceiling. Now this is not to be confused with the glass ceiling. That is too easy to break and anyway it’s only for women. This ceiling is probably on a block and tackle so that it can be raised or lowered at any time the government sees fit.

Phase two: Once the ceiling has been raised enough to make room for all the extra money they go to the Fed to borrow the pre-determined amount.

Phase three: No need for credit checks to get the money – all that is needed is a signed bill from the President or a signed President from Bill. I can’t remember which.

Phase four: The ‘loan’ is given; only it isn’t actually a loan. You see the Federal Reserve PRINTS the money the US Government wants.

Good scheme, eh? But how unfair is that? For most of my life I have been running my finances about as unsuccessfully as the US Government has, yet if I went out and got someone to print me a whole lot of money so I could help my financial situation I would be sent to jail for a very long time.

POSTSCRIPT: I have just read that Pussy Sports as they shall hernceforth be known has done what I suspected and lowered their retail price to $170 which is still nearly twice what overseas people are paying for OUR jersey. Thanks a bunch you wimps!

RWCRWCRWC and you can’t sue me – there I said it!

There are times when the attitude of some people towards money leaves me absolutely speechless. Well, no actually I guess it doesn’t do that so much as leave me grasping for words that do justice to their utterly stomach turning greed.

Who am I talking about in this case? Well there are plenty of candidates right now, and no, this is not a bitch about the rich from an impecunious writer. Instead it is a bitch about the extremely greedy (who also happen to be rich) by an impecunious writer.

My targets today are...(drum roll or cheese roll if you prefer)... the IRB, the NZRFU, and the National Disgrace Government.

My moan is about the upcoming Rugby World Cup and the ridiculous measures being taken to protect the interests of the official sponsors.

I can understand that sponsors who have paid the equivalent of the GDP of a mid-sized European nation to be associated with the event would not want their competitors to piggy-back onto their advertising without stumping up any dosh of their own. That’s fair enough and anyone from a rival company trying to get their advertising into the stadium deserves to get their ears clipped. But the trouble is that it doesn’t just stop there; these corporate gluttons want nobody within a whale’s sonar range of each game from advertising their company or products and services. In some cases it will be an offence if the advertising can simply be seen from the ‘clean zone’ they have defined around each venue.

Another of the most obvious and silly measures is that even some of the stadia have had to change their names because they have the names of sponsors not associated with the event. The cake tin will be known as Wellington Regional Stadium to spare the feelings of ANZ Bank who is an official sponsor.

But these multi-nationals have extremely high-level help to protect their interests. They have pressured the New Zealand Government to pass legislation to protect them. But unlike the laws they pass to (allegedly) protect you and me against home invasions, street bashings and drunk drivers, these laws will actually be enforced and probably to the fullest extent of the very severe penalties provided within them.

To the best of my knowledge our Government has two Acts of Parliament and one set of regulations currently in force to protect these already far too powerful people. The first of these is the Major Events Management Act 2007 (MEMA) and subsequently the Rugby World Cup 2011 (Empowering) Act 2010 and the Rugby World Cup (Empowering) Regulations 2010 have passed into the anus of our history.

What these laws have done apart from restricting our freedom of expression in some rather bizarre ways, is they have made officers of the New Zealand Government servants of these multi-nationals, but servants paid for by you and I. This is because enforcement of these pieces of legislation will be carried out by the Ministry of Economic Development. According to the Fairfax website this week they designated 40 staff members to ‘police stadiums (sic) throughout the country’ and to look out for ‘deliberate or malicious advertising attempts’.

Now this is serious stuff because for two months or more these 40 people who are being paid by you and I will be unavailable to do any work on our behalf and the cost won’t stop there because any prosecutions brought will also be paid for by us.

So am I making a mountain out of a slag heap? I don’t think so. The legislation provides for penalties of up to $150,000 and the indication is that for once something close to this will be sought for maters which should really be dealt with in the civil courts by litigants who are more than capable of funding such prosecutions themselves.

And some of the banned activities are just so stupid. For example I found in MEMA that a B&B cannot put an advert on their website offering special Rugby World Cup packages. Now packages like that have been offered by accommodation providers for ever and I doubt that anyone has believed those places were in any way associated with the event. It’s just a way of offering a special rate during a major event. But according to the official guide to MEMA the local B&B would only be allowed to advise they had vacancies or a special rate during September and October without mentioning the event that is the reason people are seeking accommodation.

 In another equally stupid example a bar can have a sign outside advertising ‘Team A v Team B Live On The Big Screen Tonight’ but they cannot say ‘Joe’s Bar Presents Team A v Team B Live On The Big Screen Tonight’ despite the fact they haven’t even mentioned the words Rugby World Cup 2011 (wash my mouth out). I note also that you cannot have a printed Rugby World Cup Guide brought to you by blah blah. Which means we won’t be able to get a cheap one in the newspaper unless they remove all advertising by non RWC sponsors for eight pages either side of it (sorry I just made that bit up).

Don’t get me wrong I am very pleased the RWC has come to New Zealand; although I’m pretty pissed off I couldn’t afford to get any tickets. However I will be watching it and I will be backing the ABs and I hope like hell they don’t pick any injured players this time.

I just think it’s plain wrong, however that we are dancing so frenetically to the diabolical piper’s tune.